I am in a period of waiting. In fact, I feel like I have been for about 9 months…or really 8 months, when we found out we were pregnant with Adileen. But the past week it has become harder to wait. We can’t wait to meet her! And it’s so soon! We are ready (or so we think). We are nervous. We’re excited. But we must wait. The hardest part about this waiting time is that we don’t know exactly when it will end. Yes, we know that it won’t be any longer than two weeks from now, but she could come anytime in the next two weeks. So we continue to make plans with an asterisk beside them warning friends, yes, count us in*
*but if our baby girl comes we might not make it.
For the past 8 months it has been hard for me to plan or to think about our work here past January because I don’t know what life will look like as a family of three. The not knowing it has made me feel frozen—like all I can do right now is wait.
But I want to enjoy the waiting. I want to be thankful for the waiting. I’ve been trying to find joy in the waiting because I don't want to rush it…of course we have to wait so that physically Adileen will grow and be healthy and be ready to join us in the world. But this waiting has been necessary to prepare me to be ready for this next chapter in our lives. And I don’t need to rush that. I don’t want to rush that. Because it is in this waiting time that God has made me slow down and be thankful for today.
Thankful for the peacefulness and quietness and rest.
Thankful for Jeremy and the uninterrupted time we have together.
Thankful for the sleep.
Thankful that today is enough.
Life’s about to change. Our days will look different. Our nights will look different. Our family will look different. But we’re excited. And nervous. And ready. And thankful. But until then I will wait. I will allow God to use these last few days to mold my heart into what it needs to be to be momma to this baby girl He has given us.
